水中央

i feel so tired and lonely at this moment, after a quite usual supper. each of us is becoming isolated and bored with anything happenning everyday around us even London riots came up now. What happened? i'm just  at a loss and can't find my way.

 but i know i have a long way to go. so please go to bed and get up early. work hard for myself. more time in Robbison Library!!! everything will be better so don't think too much of meaningless thing.

Time flies and hurry up, JANE

After a bath, I come here and want to write sth for tonight, for a film ,for the Schindler's List.

People who experienced the war are like living in the dark night while we who never went through the fire of war are staying in the day forever. We can't fail to say anything about the war without any deep experiences as a song says"the day never knows the dark of night".But with seeing films, we could know a little about the war by the screen and the sound then we even tear for some crucial scenes,  then we feel that we have understood the war from our hearts. However, it's not enough at all. For the war are far away from everyone around us.

I got the DVD of Schindler's List few years ago from S when we were both college students. But sth was wrong at that time with that DVD and with my state as well. The DVD didn't work and I might have no a good mood to enjoy such a kind of film. Actually, later I recognized that I become increasingly mad for the films about war. Each time I watched one of them, I can feel like taking a baptisma in spirit and a strong power in my deep heart. That's not because of the shocking pictures or sth like that, it's just a silent power but a quite strong hit on my heart that we even cannot express by any words and even cannot sound.

This film is not about a man ,not about only a famous war, even not about a history. It's about justice, about human nature, about the life. Do you have the basis of being a human when you are in the war?No one answers it.

It is impressive for me that in the end of the film, before fleeing with his wife, Schindler was given a ring by the Jews he saved and a Jew said to him: when you save a people, you save the whole world. After that, he can't help crying, he was mad and began to confess for himself and said again and again that "I could have saved more". Of course, I cried as well finally when confronting with this scene for I feel so sorry and painful as well as him.

Not only a shocking story is this film, but also is an epic , and a forever pain and scar of a nation.

As Nanking Massacre in our own country, everyone can not forget it as this scar is declaring an enormous shame on us forever.

在大北京，我一个人，即使很多的背叛，但我依然爱着它，爱着这个城市的每一个角落，无论我漂泊在哪个角落，我想我都是要回这里吧。

所有的事情我都可以宽容，唯独这件事不可以，我很粗线条，也不容易记得别人的伤害，可是我的心总是听我的。一切的现实、困难、舆论都不能阻止我的爱，而我自己的心一定会，在某个时刻它会停滞，不会再爱，不会向前跑，这心归根结底就是自尊了吧。

我第一时间告诉了琳惠，如果问我现在还好吗，我想说还不算坏，即使声音里有颤抖。

音乐永远是最坚定的肩膀，永远誓死忠于我的，除了父母，就是这音乐，所以不要停止我的音乐。

我问她这个社会像我这样的对爱情还抱有从一而终的笃定到死的严肃的完美的人很少吧，是不是太硬了，太过苛刻了，太单纯单纯到傻了，她说很少，如果你不想这样，那就改变价值观。我说不。我就要保持一颗赤子之心如水一般流淌至死。

因为，没有什么能够阻挡，我对自由的向往。

我希望自己永远是即使遭遇背叛遭遇欺骗也依然笑得很菜的傻姑娘，并且能渐渐成长为一个独立坚定的傻姑娘，真诚如水的傻姑娘，永远打不倒的傻姑娘。 妈妈爸爸，我永远是你们最好的宝贝。我会努力的，因为你们那么好，好到让我觉得世界上所有的人都和你们一样。

夜半销魂，谁人歌。

 傻姑娘总会遇见傻傻爱她的傻小伙儿。